Get paid to inhale

How to get a job smelling rubber cement:

1. Apply for an internship at Indieflix

2. Be assigned the "box maker"

3. Fold boxes

4. Glue paper designs onto said boxes with rubber cement


Looks like I'm livin the good life.

Poor college student goes bankrupt due to mother

Last weekend, I went to my mom's new vacation house on a nearby island. We went with my aunt and two cousins. The first night we all drank some cocktails (or if you're my mom, a whole bottle of champagne) and played Upwords.

The next day, we went out to lunch. As we were sitting down, my mom says

"So how about you pay for lunch today?"

Me: "Huh? Are you serious?"

Mom: "Yeah. I'm paying for dinner. You should pay for lunch. What's the problem?"

Everyone at the table turns to me.

Me: "I don't have enough money for that... I don't have a paying job right now. I'm not making any money. Why would you ask me to pay?" In front of my family, too...

Mom: "I'm not asking you to pay for everyone's lunch, just yours and mine."

Me: "... No?"

A few moments later, everyone resumes their conversations. I remain quiet for most of the meal. When the check comes, I pretend not to notice until my aunt pulls out her credit card and to prevent her from paying for the whole thing, my mom gets hers out too (she had claimed that she forgot to bring it).

Later that night, she came over and told me that she was sorry for embarrassing me in front of my family. She did not, however, explain why she had asked me to pay or what the policy should be going forward.

So today, I realized how uncomfortable the rest of the summer might be when we went out to lunch and the check came.

Summer begins..

Back home!!! The weather is so nice here it's too nice. It's way too hot, especially in the car. But it's okay because I have a heart of ice.

I started an internship on Monday at a film festival. Today I found out that it's the most boring job in the world, ever. There are 2 buildings kitty corner across an intersection, and all day I was told to go to the other building to drop things off, or to use a computer, to check that files were accurate... The worst part is that I'm not getting paid for it. Wow.

So I ran into my old boss at imdb and she said she would try to hook me up. So then I got an email from indieflix, who said they wanted me to go to screenings, interview people after screenings, and attend parties. Um, hello yes??? Thanks.

And I have another interview tomorrow.

If I back out of film, I can always try for executive assistant. They make like $60,000 a year.

End of year!!

WTF?

I just finished my work for this year. Yessss. A summary:

- 2 all-nighters in a row
- Procrastinating methods as pathetic as "Packing" and "checking craigslist again"
- Fight with roommate about adderall. It doesn't matter who said what; I'm just right.
- Making a list of movies and TV shows to watch over the summer (I'm getting Netflix, bitches!)
- Fantasizing about film school


So my mom sold my car without telling me. I think for Mother's Day, I'll be getting her gloves filled with shards of glass. Any tips what kind of gloves?

Shoutout to inanimate objects!

1 paper left.

I'd like to dedicate it to No Doz.
Couldn't do it without ya!




The rest of my work this year, I'd like to dedicate to Diet Coke and Blogger (for distracting me). Thanks guys. It's been quite a year.

Stairs are cheaper

A friend: "I’m not on birth control… but I believe in stairs"

How to mess up instant coffee

Mistake #1: I wanted to make instant coffee

Mistake #2: While the water was boiling I put the crystals into the mug, which was damp

Mistake #3: I then added the powdered creamer in advance which molded into a big blob that did not dissolve when I poured the boiling water over it.

The end result looked like clogged toilet water.

Some people have trust funds. I'm not 'some people'

I got a pretty good indication for how well-off many of my classmates are when at the last Senate meeting of the year, we went around and told everyone what we were doing for the summer and the answers were:

- Going on a cruise, seeing the Bahamas, road trip
- Didn't get the internships I wanted, so instead I'm backpacking through Europe
- The Hamptons, "I guess"

Reassuringly, none of the seniors have employment of any kind lined up. Their answers about the future tended on the side of:

- Moving in with my boyfriend
- Plan to rob financial institutions if I can't find a job at one
- *face of shame*

See all that I have to look forward to? How motivating.

Reasons to stay in school

Yesterday, not only did my film history teacher say "Motherfucker", but he showed us a film with porn and sadomasochism in it. Just as the year ends, it starts getting good.

A friend who was abroad in Japan all year is visiting this week. Yay! Arigato. I hope he learned how to make sushi.

School is almost over

Tuesday night I pulled an almost all-nighter in the editing room while working on my film. Tip: Do not line up 3 plastic rolly chairs to use as a bed.

I'm working on making people steal things (a computer) for me to use over the summer so I can finish my film.

Complaint: I want donuts. Now.