Can you Google "fuck you!" for me please?

I work in the library. It's a cushy, information desk job that allows me to make $8/hour while I surf the internet. Every once in a while, someone brightens my shift by asking me a question that makes me curious about their mental capacity.

For instance, I often (at least once a week) get someone who says to me "I don't know how to search on the library catalogue, can you show me how?" My instinct is to tell them no, it's an incredibly difficult tool to use and I still have not figured it out. But instead I end up getting up and doing all their work for them. These must be people who have never done anything for themselves in their lives. Did they even try anything first before asking me? No. Get some soul, people!

Then there's the lady who tries to make me sign her up for a Yahoo! email account. I'm not sure why she didn't care that I would know her password and email preferences, but I flatly refused.

Finally, there's the trillion year old Latin teacher (henceforth known as Professor Mentally Ill) who comes in to the library during almost every one of my shifts. The first time he did, he just breezed by me and said "I don't know how to search on Google. Do a search on Google for [I forget what]." What?! You know that you want to use google, and you know what you want to type in. You can't just DO it??? How does a man who can't do a simple internet search get paid to be a professor?!

I looked the stuff up for him. During my next shift, he made me look up something else (equally absurd, I assure you) and then print something for him. After it printed, I was fed up enough that I refused to go get the paper that had printed. I am NOT his maid. But my coworker, Brian, got it for him. So Professor Mentally Ill is still a king.

Last night at the library, I was working with Brian, and PMI comes in and snoops around the library and sits in the back like he owns the place. After a while, Brian comes up to me with a paper that says:

"Hi L 12,
Professor Mentally Ill would like you to google the following:

1. American History from 1876 to 1976. (What happened?)
2. Virgil's Aeneid and its influence on NBC television movies.
3. The Mighty Jennifers: (Aniston, Lopez, and Gartner).
4. Why exactly did Brad leave Jen? (in 10 words or less)"

I sat there with the paper, shaking my head. What, the, fuck! This guy was crazy.

That's when Brian told me that it was a joke and he actually wrote the note. THEN it was just funny. Why? Because not only did I believe that PMI wanted me to look up those absurd things, but because it didn't seem unreasonable that PMI would ask me to under normal circumstances.