Chillow cools your hotflash!

Visiting my dad for Thanksgiving, we were waiting for a prescription to be filled at the drugstore, and so I sat down on the leather chair pimped out in an automatic massager. As I relaxed, I looked at the displays around me. Thankfully, there was a whole stack of massagers, slippers, and other equally comforting products. My favorite was

"Chillow cools your pillow...
and your
HEAD
BACK
HOTFLASH
SUNBURN
FEET
& MORE"

Wait, wha? Chillow cools my hotflash? I didn't even know I was having those! Wow, what a relief. But my favorite part is that "HOTFLASH" is slipped into the middle of the other objects that Chillow can cool. You know that the people who designed this didn't just roll these out in this order. They probably thought

"head, back, feet... hm... hotflash? hahaha... well, I guess Chillow could cool a hot flash. And not only will suffering menopausal women want to buy it, but their husbands will buy it for them to get them to shut the hell up with their bitching. I guess we'd better put another ailment in there so hot flash isn't the odd one out. Sunburn."

I wish Chillow didn't tell us that we could use it for more than just those five things. Otherwise my ex roommate from last year might not have used it to chill her ticker and become such a cold-hearted bitch.