Wikipedia, you are so beautiful to me

Last night, in the midst of some relaxing cocaine snorting, I heard my companions say "Wikipedia says that if you put coke on the end of your cigarette filter, it will numb the back of your throat as you smoke. Let's try it!" I love that the internet is giving us lovely kids tips on different ways to use drugs. I, however, don't smoke cigarettes and wasn't about to start (irony? Surely not).

I've decided as of late that Wikipedia should probably be promoted and described as one of my best friends. It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling and makes me feel powerful. It tells me like it is.

After becoming aware of the many helpful recreational uses of Wikipedia, I decided to look up some other drugs to see what I could find out.

Search for "Botox", you get "Botulin toxin". This is some serious shit. I mean, the drug that gets pumped into ladies' faces all the time? Yeah, I knew it could be dangerous, but check this out:
- "It is possibly the most toxic substance known, with a lethal dose of about 200-300 pg/kg, meaning that somewhat over a hundred grams could kill every human living on the earth."
Now, do you like conspiracy theories? Me too:
- "in 1961, the CIA prepared some cigars of Fidel Castro's favorite brand which had been saturated with botulinum toxin, for the possibility of an assassination attempt."
If only 100 grams could kill the entire human population, I'm not sure why saturating the cigar was necessary. Unless they think Fidel is more than just one man. Or does it reflect the gravity of his threat? Or was the CIA trying to kill ALL Cubans?

If you look up cocaine, you can learn a little bit about capitalism:
- "When the Spaniards conquered South America, they at first ignored Aboriginal claims that the leaf gave them strength and energy, and declared the practice of chewing it the work of the Devil. But after discovering that these claims were true, they legalized and taxed the leaf... These taxes were for a time the main source of support for the Roman Catholic Church in the region"
Interesting... the leaf is no longer the work of the devil, but something that can support the Church! And so it began... but while many praised coca leaves, they didn't create quite the craze that some were looking for. Luckily, we can thank Angelo Mariani for solving this dilemma:
- "A chemist named Angelo Mariani who read Mantegaza’s paper became immediately intrigued with coca, and its economic potential"
Thank goodness. In case you think cocaine is on the decline, do not fear.
- "The estimated U.S. cocaine market exceeded $35 billion in street value for the year 2003, exceeding revenues by corporations such as AT&T and Starbucks."

So next time you get all uppity about corporations or monopolies, just snort some cocaine (or smoke it, or inject it, or eat it) and chill out. It's going to be okay.