Men should be seen and not heard

So I have this friend, let's call him Bitch and Moan (BM for short). He is constantly bitching and moaning about how much he wants a relationship but all girls want from him is sex, sex, sex. And then he decided, never mind! He wants to lose his virginity before he turns 19. But he still bitches about the "insane" girls here and how fucked up everyone is. I think that's a grand exaggeration - the fucked up people are pretty easy to avoid, especially if you're like BM and rarely leave your room. Here is a conversation we had online today - it illustrates the reasoning behind his nickname as well as the perils of what I have to endure every time I talk to him.

BM: do me a favor. find me a sane, cute, and at least relatively funny girlfriend before the end of the year.
BM: i'll try to find you a boy. my job's significantly harder, so give me till the end of the school year
BM: i'd recommend lesbianism, but you're liable to run into the same kinds of people i've been running into.
Me: UGHHGHGHGH
Me: there are cute sane girls everywhere, they just dont live in your building
Me: and setting people up doesnt work all that well
BM: sure it does
BM: i've never tried, but i'd like to meet a girl that way at least once
BM: at least you'd know she's sane before i start talking to her
BM: sanity + attractiveness is ridiculously rare
Me: ugh
Me: you're such a whiner
BM: meh, let me whine
BM: do you know any girls who'd be interested in me?
Me: no
Me: i dont like a lot of girls in general
Me: if i'm friends with a girl i approve of her. and i'm not friends with a lot of girls
BM: yet i'm supposed to be able to find one
BM: you have like 4 friends
BM: (no offense)
Me: i know that
Me: because i dont LIKE other girls
BM: alright, point taken.
...
BM: eh, i know everybody...i just don't trust them.
BM: well, not everybody, but a good portion of everybody
BM: people up here are shit, so it's better to keep them at arm's length [I bet that's where you want your girlfriend to be...]
Me: see, you should lower your standards
Me: people up here are not shit.
BM: i think my standards are low enough
Me: you are mean
BM: the good girls i know here are either taken or go for assholes
Me: well stop being so impatient
BM: fuck patience, i've been patient for long enough
BM: i'm trying to keep some bearing on who i really am
BM: which amounts to looking for a stable relationship
Me: no it doesnt
BM: yeah, it does
Me: it's not about having a stable relationship
Me: a relationship shouldnt "complete" you or be what makes you happy, you should be happy on your own before you even have the relationship
BM: that's bullshit
BM: we're human. by nature social animals. the desire for companionship is innate[...blah blah, he goes on forever.]
Me: we're social animals but that doesnt mean you need to have a ROMANTIC relationship or COMPANION
BM: i'd like to have something more meaningful than a friendship
BM: though friendship in itself is difficult in this shithole
BM: it's like a personality wasteland
Me: this place is NOT that retarded
BM: fucking shit, this place is that retarded.
BM: by the end of four years at this place, i'm gonna be fucking psychotic. tant amount to a north easterner, but that's basically the same thing.
...
BM: anyway, find me a girl
BM: i'm not that bad, am i?
Me: i dont set people up
Me: all you do is bitch about how crappy everyone is. if you stop being negative people might be like "that BM guy is really awesome!" instead of "man, that BM guy hates everyone"
BM: fuck that, i only talk to people who want to talk to me [Now that's a great way to meet potential girlfriends]
Me: ok that could also be where you're going wrong
Me: and that could be why the only girls who you talk to are skanky hoes

... What?! I'm a bitch.