It isn't free, gentlemen

So every year the school does an auction to raise money for the student scholarship fund. Student Senate organizes it, and since I'm a Senator I was at the auction. Our theme: The Price is Right. My job: Vana girl.

My skills of showing off semi-interesting objects are... well... incomparable. First of all, most of the items up for auction were not show-able. A weekend getaway at a cottage? A 2-week internship? Dinner with an alumn? When I was "vana"-ing these items, I invariably just walked up to the center of the stage and smiled. Sometimes I did the hands thing, showcasing nothing but the air beside me. When it was a dinner, I usually mimed eating. I'm not sure why - no one told me to.

Fortunately, there were several giant stuffed animals that were up for auction. A horse, a zebra, a giraffe, a reindeer, and a bunny. The night before the auction, we had found them and played some games with them. There was a war between the horse and the zebra, there was the reindeer attacking the director of student activities, and there was a forest of stuffed animals that we designed. Many pictures.

To my delight, I was given the horse to vana. My vana-ing skills here far surpassed the skills of the others (of which there were 5), as I proceeded to ride the horsey. That's right. Wearing a $150 black dress and suede stiletto boots, I vana-ed a stuffed horse by riding it. If I had more time, I also would have fed it invisible carrots and brushed its mane. But the now turned-on audience had bought the horse. For $170.

That's the price of what's between my legs.