Excuse me? Do you know who I am? I'm kind of a big deal

So, at one point when I was in high school, I thought I wanted to be an actress. I quit violin and took theatre classes. Then, somewhere down the line I lost interest. Not that I didn't like acting or theatre, but more the prospect of chasing a paycheck for the rest of my life and obsessing over things like my weight and my worth... I'll obsess over those things without getting paid, thank you very much.

Anyway this year I live with a bunch of theatre girls, and they're sweet and all... but they're also fucked in the head. This one girl, named el bitch, (L for short) wrote a play that is going to be read. This means that it will have a director and actors, but they'll have their scripts in front of them and do minimal blocking. Readings can be cool and all, but it's not like her play is actually being performed. Anyway apparently now she's the best EVER and feels like she should be able to make other people unhappy.

So I stumble into a conversation where she is trying to convince D-dawg (the scone loser from before) to audition for a part in her play that's "perfect for you!!!". D-dawg, who is mainly a literature and art history buff and spends her free time knitting, is not interested and refuses.

I ask L why D would be perfect for the part, and she says "Well it's just like D! It's a girl who's really really smart and wants to be popular, and is basically willing to do anything to become popular."

"I could play that," I say, not that I would want to.

Without even considering, L says "No... no you couldn't."

"What?! Why the hell not?"

"Well, you're not at all like that."

"And D is? D doesn't want to be popular and is certainly not willing to do anything to become popular. She won't even leave her room!"

"Well... the main thing is that the character is just really smart."

*blink*

I don't think I said anything out loud about that comment, except to my roommate later, but excuse me? L hasn't even seen me act so she has no reason to think that I couldn't do it, and she also just called me STUPID.

There's something called politeness. And I'm sorry if your whore mother didn't teach you about it, but you should really get some.