How did you get into college?

In my filmmaking class, the teacher started showing us the first 20 minutes of films so we could discuss technique and all that. It's a good idea. It's a bad class.

There are a few new students in the class (5 or so) and two of them are particularly irritating. As in, I want to inflict pain on them and I actually sincerely hope that their films turn out to be good wastebasket stuffers. Why would I be so incredibly malicious in my hopes for them?

Well, student 1 says things like this: "I found real monkeys to film"
Teacher: "Wait, what? Real ones? Where did you find them?"
Student 1: "They were on campus. The president has a stash of monkeys in her backyard, right outside the visual arts building."
Teacher: "What?"
Student 1: "Seriously. It's perfect."
Whole class: "Shut the hell up."

And the second student is a complete imbecile. Today we were showed the beginning of a documentary, "Best Boy" about a family with a mentally disabled member. When we were discussing the film, student 2 says "So this guy is actually mentally retarded?"
Teacher: "yes.."
Student 2: "And his cousing just happened to be a brilliant filmmaker?" (meaning: "That's just too convenient. Something's fishy here")
The world: "Well yes."

If the cousin wasn't a filmmaker, the movie never would have been made. Of course someone in the family "happened to be" a filmmaker. Idiot. IDIOT.

These are just examples from ONE class. Imagine the pain I am put through every time I see their mouths open. It's like watching really bad acting or really awful comedians. Or being near stupid people... Oh wait, that's exactly what it is.