The exciting world of sitting at a computer all day

Okay, there's no need to prolong the suspense. Everyone wants to hear about this new job of mine, am I right?

I work at Western Wireless. It's an ironic title, and I'll tell you why right now. Because I, living in Washington, live in the West, right? So it makes sense that the HQ of Western Wireless is here. But what doesn't make sense? Where's the irony, L 12? Here it is: People in Washington can't get cell phones from this Washington-based company. Nope. Western Wireless only serves people in places like Texas, Utah, South Dakota, etc.

What do I do at Western Wireless? (This is awesome, I didn't sign a non-disclosure agreement for Western Wireless. At least I don't think so. hmm.) Well, when you call your wireless service to get that new phone or renew your contract (usually both, since getting a new contract makes the phone cheaper), you talk on the phone to our friendly idiots*. But what you DON'T know, is these people fill out an order for the new phone and service and contract and it goes into the system. My job is to click on one of the names (my favorite part, seriously) and update the system so it has their new plan and contract, and then say that the phone hasn't been sent yet. I don't know where it goes. And we always seem to have 362 new orders to process, so sometimes I get suspicious that we aren't actually DOING anything and they're just paying us to sit there and make pretty typing noises all day. But that's ok. Because they are paying us, right? ... Right?

Why is my favorite part clicking on the names, you ask? (YES, you DID ask. I made you.) Because. The people who use this company for their wireless service are from Texas, Utah, South Dakota, etc (honestly I don't remember the other states...). Well?! These people have the most hilarious last (and sometimes first) names! I took the liberty of writing down some ones that seemed a bit funny to me:

- Schneibel (come ON. Say it out loud)
- Fried (how would you like your eggs?)
- McClung (I like her. She's just a bit... clingy.)
- BJ Elrod (That's a first AND last name. hehehe...)
- Teeter (totter?)
- Lollar (oh I don't even know. dollar? lollypop?)
- Mary Snowden (seriously.)
- Shelver (oh, you mean my job at the library?)
- Morales (he's a Satanist, by the way)
- Cupp (haha. no need to elaborate there)
- Parr (what a consistent golfer!)
- Sharer (I hope they're poor)
- Veleta (Now, that's a first name. And it looks like Velveeta. The cheese)
- Angus (Mmm, meaty! We could put Veleta on him...)

Naturally, there are more. I ran into a last name very similar to Shiavo yesterday. Let me just clarify: I ALWAYS process orders for the people with funny last names. Bob Smith is NEVER going to see his phone. (That's a lie. About 6 other people do the same thing I do all day. I bet they specifically process boring-named peoples' orders)

Let me also say, I was going to compare this place to office space, but that wouldn't make sense. First of all, having a cubicle is a PRIVILEGE. And I don't have privileges. I get a "workstation;" basically part of a wall. And I get to park across the street at the state park and take a shuttle to work. What's even funnier is that when I'm finally on my way home, about to enjoy my freedom from typing numbers all day, I think: "Yay! What should I do? Hmm. Um.....? I guess I'll go on my computer."

Also.. that's all.

* I only call them this because they talk SO loud. And who can stay HAPPY! for so long?!