When you're high and the pizza guy gets here, you RUN to answer the door

Yesterday was lovely. Mr. Boyfriend took me to Kirkland and we walked next to the water and watched the sunset (just to clarify, it wasn't a romantic thing, we just happened to be on the water while the sun was setting. holding hands and all that. shut up).

Then we went to my neighborhood and got high in his car. Let me tell you, driving the two blocks to my house was really fucking hard, and I wasn't even driving. So then we went inside and waited for the pizza and thought it would be a good idea to write notes to each other. Here is what happened:

Me: "Being high is like playing my 'game'* because when you're high you often have to explain how you got from one thought to the next."
Boyfriend: "That is so weird... I totally understand that. But then I eventually lose the thought... I'm hungry"
Me: "God you're lame. And a boring note writer. You sound mentally retarded."
Boyfriend: "You are not nice. I was opening my heart and you step on it. Damn you. Heartless wench. I hope you drown in feces. Butt-head."

I decided not to answer him but he thought something he did was funny enough to write down:
Boyfriend: "I did a weird 'Hey' thing. I was trying to be sexy because L12 seemed unattracted to me. So I hit on her with a 'Hey' thing... She won't date me. I tried my best."**
Me: "You sound like Strongbad. TROGDOR!"
Boyfriend: "Strongbad is hot. He likes to cuddle"
Me: "Oh. Cuddling is hot?"
Boyfriend: "Yes it is, L12. Yes it is. 'My God this house is freakin sweet!' I like family Guy. And... I like you. Hello."

At this point I realized that note-writing wouldn't be fun because Mr. Boyfriend is actually mentally retarded. And watching Family Guy when you're high is... confusing.

* My 'game' is a game I came up with when I was with my dad and brother. When you're bored and with some people, you all close your eyes and someone says what to start with. For example, Chair. Then everyone lets their stream of consciousness take them from one thought to the next until the person who said Chair says stop and each person says what their ending thought was. It's funny because people end up with things like "Aladdin" from Chair, and then they can explain how they got there. Don't laugh at me, I'm still cool.

** The REAL story is that Mr. Boyfriend had said something retarded (not unusual, but maybe being high makes me clairvoyant...) and so I pretended to be disgusted with him (not unattracted; much much more than unattracted) and so he leaned over and in a weird voice said "Heyyy... Heyy Heyy.... or something." I laughed because who says "or something" when they're hitting on someone? Well, I do, but who else?!!