You put the "ooze" in snooze

I think I have a problem, and I’m finally willing to bow down to it and admit it. I make a point of not having vices: I don’t smoke (cigarettes at least), I’m very aware of the fact that my family has a history of alcoholism, I don’t even drink coffee. Sometimes I might be a little too drawn to the Diet Coke, but… today I finally recognized a serious addiction of mine.

The snooze button.

I’ve been late to work several times because of it. This addiction is starting to affect my family, friends, and professional life. I need a support group.

It seems really easy, every night when I set my alarm. “I’ll wake up at 8 and make myself a good breakfast.” Or “I’ll get up a little early and work out before I go to work.” And honestly, I think I’m getting a pretty decent amount of sleep. So why is it that when my alarm goes off, I can’t wake up? Okay, I know it’s normal that most people hit snooze. But I always hit it with the intention of getting up the next time it goes off. Even when I’ve been hitting it for a half hour. This morning, when my snooze button turned off and I only had the option of turning my alarm clock off, I actually reset my alarm for ten minutes later. If I can do something with that much concentration, why can’t I just get up? Because I’m addicted to the snooze button.

Example: a few days ago, my mom woke me up and I had to write her a check. I had to get up, go online to check my balance, write a check, bring it to her. By the time I was finished with all this, I was wide awake, and only had 30 minutes until I would have to wake up anyway. But I went back to sleep. Because I LOVE the fucking snooze button.

And every morning, I look at it and think “Is that really how you spell snooze?”