Do not follow my example

Let me just tell you that I learned something new today. One should NOT attempt to cut an apple with a plastic knife. I don't think I can make myself sound any smarter by explaining why I did it, because no excuse would pardon that stupid, stupid idea.

Now. I was thinking about this. Me and my friends were talking about the whole "fight or flight" instinct. And while I was driving, I thought: maybe the animals that are road kill are just the animals with the "fight" instinct who didn't realize that they couldn't beat the car. Now doesn't that just make road kill seem brave?

So I'm mad at Mr. Boyfriend. You know how you spend a whole relationship dealing with situations in a certain way? My way of dealing with things is to solve them, talk about them, figure out what's wrong. Well apparently I'm going to try something called "be a bitch" this time. Because I don't do that, so I want to see if maybe that'll work. So far... it's not working. But he doesn't know that I started yet. Mmm, isn't this just spicier than a jalapeno?