Breaking news: Bush gives Lieberman oral sex "two thumbs way, way up"

Truly, honestly, seriously... I almost never read the newspaper. Or the magazines, like Business Week, or the New Yorker, or anything that people who are adults read. It is a sign of boring, awful maturity and adultness to do these things. And it is incredibly easy to be in college and isolate myself from the important/"important" events in the outside world. We don't have cable, we don't have parents around constantly talking about Iraq or taxes or healthcare or whatever...

So I was reading a little news, mostly out of guilt and the sudden concern that when I enter the non-college world during winter break, I will experience a culture shock of epic proportions (well... not epic, but pretty big anyway).

And I have to say, people who aren't in college are all pretty much stupid. And most people in college are, as well. Well, maybe all the smart people are just hiding and not publishing anything that regular, stupid people read. Why do I say this? Let me show you.

Joe Lieberman says: "It is time for Democrats who distrust President Bush to acknowledge that he will be commander in chief for three more critical years, and that in matters of war we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril"

Michael McCurry says: "They may not agree with him, but Democrats respect what he is saying. People know he's not playing politics with Iraq."

Associated Press says: "The Bush Administration, meanwhile, can't seem to get enough of the senator who has sided with the president on many foreign policy, defense and homeland security issues. Lieberman huddled with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld at a private Pentagon breakfast meeting Thursday amid rumors he could be a potential Rumsfeld successor. Bush singled out Lieberman for praise in his two most recent speeches, including Wednesday in New York where he noted: 'Senator Lieberman is right.'"

I say: Mikey? You are without a doubt correct. Joe Lieberman is truly, honestly not playing politics. He just loves President Bush (y'know... in that special holding-hands way) and in the world of politics, presidential support from a democrat is akin to "making his move." Of course other democrats respect what he is saying, even though it is opposite from what they believe to be right and so obviously a way of getting Bush into bed. Who doesn't respect a man trying to fulfill his heart's desires at everyone else's expense?

*sigh* If only Clinton hadn't made the whole President blowjob scandal such a big deal, Lieberman could hope to fellate Bush in the hopes of - who knows - a Supreme Court nomination? An appointment to be King of Iraq?

Good thing I got out into the real world and experienced the culture and intelligence brought to us by our government officials.