A case against using clean toilets

In my economics class today, we started presenting our final projects. There were five presentations today, including myself. Let me begin my story by thanking my parents for teaching me proper etiquette. Rules go something like this:

1. It is not polite to exit the room in the middle of a speech or performance
2. It is not polite to enter the room in the middle of a speech or performance
3. It is not polite to abandon your own speech or performance at any time
4. It is basically not polite to move at all.

Obviously, I was undergoing a bit of a dilemma. Ten minutes before class, I realized that I didn't have any extra tampons on me. (Oh, be an adult and quit your whining) I decided not to go to my room for extras because I didn't want to be late to class. I figured I would go to the bathroom between presentations. So I went in to the class and we started presentations. Obviously I didn't want to leave during the first presentation, and thought it best not to leave during the question and answer time because I might be presenting next. Then another person butted in and presented before me, and basically rule 4 (above) applied for the entire class period.

At the end of class, having resisted my desire to go to the bathroom, I promptly left the room and walked into the nearest bathroom. The only other person in there was a cleaning lady, which made me happy because I love the smell of clean bathrooms and being the first to use a just-cleaned toilet. Don't you feel the same? I mean, the comfort of knowing that no one sat on the cleaned toilet before you, so that you can't wonder if they have herpes or crabs or something; no germs, just the sweet, sweet feeling on your backside of...

Windex.

That's right, Windex. I believe the cleaning lady was not quite done cleaning the toilet, because it was very very wet. Not in pee or water. In Windex.

At least my tush is clean.