I could feel it coming again: word vomit. No, this time it was real vomit.

All right, I think it's high time I wrote a post about a night of drunkenness! My school doesn't have a lot of big, badass parties but there are a lot of smaller, less badass parties. Last night, I decided at 2am that I wanted to go to a party and drink some alcohol. So I called a few people and showed up right as one party was ending... Then walked around looking for noisy people congregating outside in case there might be a party.

Luckily, I found one. I drank my forty and chatted with some people, but of course we soon got kicked out (it was probably almost 4 by this point). Well, of course I wasn't done. I went to my friend's room and drank some vodka from a water bottle. Hot tea is a pretty good chaser! Anyhow, the rest of this story is pretty hit or miss memory-wise, but I heard a lot of things that surprised me. I remember repeatedly telling people that the vodka tasted like Christmas. At some point, I was handed a piece of paper and a pen and told to write a letter to someone's boyfriend. Today, I read this "letter":

JORDAN SUCKS
HER BOYFRIEND:
I MISS OUR ANAL SEX IN THE GARDEN OF BEAUCRAGRY
U R MY VODKA WINE SPRITZER
I ALSO <3 (HEART) U LIKE WHOAH!!
U KNO U LOV (LUV) ME.
NEWAYS...
ALLEN GINSBERG = WURST WHORE = MIKE MINI BAZANGA!! (drawing of a cat)
<3 U LIKE WHOA
ALSO, MIKE = WAY INTO POETS WHO ARE WAY UNCOOL & ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS UM I FORGET & STUFF HE ROX. BUT POETRY WUTEV B/C DUDE
OK NEWAYS. HE should've useD MY STePDAD foR vietnam waR vets.
people @ school suck b/c they think they aRe cooLeR than me but they suck b/c they don't understand that they dont care about life but I, of course care about everyone who goes here & wish they were cooll cool

Luckily, soon after that I tried to show somebody the frown lines on my face and apparently started talking regardless of both whether other people were talking and whether anyone was listening to me. I then was led to Mike's bed by concerned people, where I proceeded to throw up on his bed, then started bawling, went to wash my hands and tried to make Jordan hug me. He refused. I got VERY upset when he refused, and my anger went something like this:

"We are both people! You are a person, and I am a person, and when you do things like this, you make me feel like I'm not a person! I have a seven inch penis!"

Impressive.

I then went back to Mike's bed, where I forced him to go to sleep RIGHT THAT INSTANT, without brushing his teeth or putting on pajamas. Finally, and equally embarrassingly, I fell asleep and snored for two hours so loud I almost shook the room.